


Gravity

by crusadedean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 01:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crusadedean/pseuds/crusadedean
Summary: Reader relives her ups and downs with Dean while trying to save him.





	Gravity

**Author's Note:**

> ❝You love me You hate me  
> You kiss me You break me  
> You lifted me up just to watch as you dropped me  
> You promised me – looked me straight in the eyes  
> No matter what you say – I don’t know the truth from the lies  
> I held you up like I always do   
> I forgave you for your sins and I carried you through  
> No matter how hard we fall  
> We always knew  
> You will bleed for me, and I will bleed for you❞

You were exhausted, keeping your eyes on a demon wasn’t as easy as you thought it’d be. Sam had left to go get some blood so you guys could start trying to cure Dean and he left you to babysit. It was hard to see the person you loved like this. Although the more Demon Dean pushed you away the more you wanted to fight, to try and save him. You and Dean had a long history of ups and downs and you were not ready to just give up on him.

* * *

**_You love me | You kiss me_ **

_“Dean, stop,” You giggled as Dean’s hands attacked your sides with tickles.  
_

_“Not going to happen anytime soon sweetheart,” He laughed along with you.  
_

_He continued tickling your sides as you both laughed uncontrollably. It was times like these that made you the happiest you were able to forget about all of the evil things in the world that you and Dean hunted together. It was just you two and you were unbelievably happy. It made you think about life if you never got into hunting. If Dean would be your husband and you guys would have five kids running around by now. That was just thinking though, everyone could have dreams and even though you knew you could never have that with Dean you were happy because you still had these times with him._

_“Dean, please, it’s too much. I can’t handle it anymore,” you giggled some more while pleading.  
_

_“Apologize for eating the rest of my pie then Y/n,” he demanded.  
_

_“Fine, fine,” you finally gave in, “I’m sorry for eating the rest of your slice of pie.”  
_

_Dean then stopped tickling you. Your guys’ eyes were locked together as he leaned down and gave you a deep passionate kiss._

_“I love you, Y/n”  
_

_“I love you too, Dean. Always will.”  
_

* * *

“Listen, sweetheart, I know how you think this is going to go. I’ll be cured and we can live happily ever after, but that’s not going to happen. I like being like this. I’m stronger, the mark gave me what I needed. Something I couldn’t get from you or Sam. Get used to seeing me like this, because this is the Dean you’re going to get from now on.” Dean chuckled.

“Stop, that’s not true. We’re going to fix you, Dean. I know you’re in there. Listen to me. I’m not going anywhere,” You walked over to Dean tied up, crouched down, and took his cheeks in your hands to make him look you straight in the eyes, “Fight Dean, this isn’t you. I know the man I love is there still we just have to get to him. You’re not stopping me or Sam from ever having him again.” 

He just laughed more at your small attempt to see any part of human and this is when you were scared that Dean was actually gone. 

* * *

_**You hate me | You break me** _

_“Leave, y/n,” you flinched at Dean yelling. You guys have fought before, but they never got this serious.  
_

_“Why are you doing this Dean?” You questioned.  
_

_“I can’t do it anymore Y/N”  
_

_“Why not? I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve always been here for you Dean. You can’t just decide to drop me like that. I don’t even know why you’re angry.” You were starting to raise your voice as well.  
_

_There was silence for awhile before you noticed that Dean had started to cry. You sat next to him and pulled him in to comfort him. Even though you were mad at him you still hated seeing him like this._

_“Dean, please tell me what’s wrong.” you pleaded for some sort of explanation from him.  
_

_“You almost died, y/n. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t protect you. No matter how hard I try it’s never enough. I can’t protect everyone I love and that’s including you. I’m scared that one of these days I’ll have to carry your dead body back, and I- I can’t handle that. So you need to leave. If I can’t protect you then it’s better if you’re safe and away from me.”  
_

_“No, don’t do this Dean. You don’t get to decide where I need to be. I feel safest with you.”  
_

_“Y/N, that djinn totally drained you. If we would’ve got there a second later you would’ve been dead. I’m not keeping you safe. I’m only killing you faster.” He raised his voice again.  
_

_“No, you’re not! Please, Dean. This is all my decision if I leave I’m still going to hunt. I’ll be safer with you.”  
_

_“Leave,” Dean screamed. You couldn’t stop tears from falling now. You started packing an overnight bag with only enough clothes for a day or two and then made your way out of your shared room in the bunker. As you walked through the empty house you let tears fall freely as you thought of the closest hotel to stay at as you were determined to come back and change Dean’s mind when he was thinking more clearly.  
_

* * *

“You guys don’t even know if it’s going to work, do you?” Dean paused, “You know I got a hell of a lot more running through me than just demon juice.”

“Mark of Cain got it,” Sam said as he examined the needle filled with blood.

 “You’re not going to stop us, Dean. No matter what. Even if this doesn’t work we’re going to find another way.”

Sam walked up in preparation to give Dean the shot.

“Sammy, you know I hate shots.”  

“I hate demons,” Sam replied. 

He then walked the tiny distance towards Dean. Dean’s eyes turned black. Sam threw holy water onto Dean. You watched as he growled and Sam stabbed him with the needle. Dean started to grunt and moan in ways you’re not even sure you’ve heard another demon sound. You were scared, but you couldn’t show it. 

* * *

**_You lifted me up just to watch as you dropped me  
_ **

_You and Dean have had a thing going on for awhile. You should’ve learned from how many times you’ve seen it happen that the whole friends with benefits thing never works out. You thought that your feelings for Dean were just some sexual tension, but quickly realized you were wrong when your feelings only grew more._

_“What are you thinking about, beautiful?” Dean interrupted your thoughts as he cuddled into you more.  
_

_“Dean, I have something to tell you,” you gulped afraid of what would happen, but you couldn’t hide your feelings anymore.  
_

_“What is it, sweetheart?” He asked looking up at you with a huge grin.  
_

_“I think I love you, Dean,” you quickly got out.  
_

_“Don’t joke about that, y/n” he paused chuckling, “You know I don’t do relationships.”  
_

_“I-I’m not joking.” You said as your voice cracked. You knew you weren’t going to get the greatest reaction, but this hurts a lot.  
_

_“C’mon, y/n we had a deal you knew this was nothing more than two friends having some sort of release.”  
_

_“I’m sorry.” You said as you got out of the bed throwing on your t-shirt and picking up the rest of your clothes. You then ran out of the room as tears fell from your eyes.  
_

* * *

“For all you know, you could be killing me,” Dean grumbled after Sam had just given him another shot. 

“Or you’re just messing with us,” you replied.

Sam and Dean continued arguing and you weren’t sure what to do anymore. You just let them go at it because you were too scared to get involved afraid of the words the demon would say just to get a rise out of you. 

* * *

**_You promised me – looked me straight in the eyes_ **

_“Okay, so if I win you get to pick the movie we watch when we get home and if I win I get to choose wherever I want to go and you’ll take me there?” you questioned.  
_

_“Yepp, but don’t get your hopes up, Sweetheart. I’m the master at pool.”  
_

_“Sure thing, Dean.”  
_

_You guys played on. It took awhile and a few times you were unsure of who was going to win. In the end, Dean was surprised when you were the winner._

_“There’s no way. Did you cheat?” Dean grumbled.  
_

_“Nope. Guess there’s a new pool master.” you giggled.  
_

_Dean crossed his arms over his chest, “Okay where do you want to go?”_

_“Disneyland,” you stated proudly.  
_

_“Really, you could pick anywhere and you choose Disneyland,” Dean asked and you shook your head in reply.  
_

_You decided to give Dean a break since he was being grumpy about you winning, “I guess I can make it easier on you and settle with watching whatever Disney movie I want tonight.”_

_“Thank god.” Dean sighed out.  
_

_You walked up and hugged Dean as you guys made an exit out of the run down bar you were at._

_“I’ll take you to Disneyland someday,” Dean said.  
_

_“Promise?” You questioned looking right up into Dean’s eyes.  
_

_“I promise.”_

* * *

After talking for a few with Sam you both returned to the room Dean was locked up in only to find him passed out in the chair. You both walked over unsure if he was faking or really passed out.

“Hey! Hey! Dean! Come on! Come back,” Sam yelled as he slapped Dean in the face.

“No,” You heard Dean weakly say.

Sam was now much more gentle, “Come back to me. You there?”

Dean started to wake up and come back to reality. You walked closer over to both of Sam and Dean.

“Are you okay Dean?” you hesitantly asked.

“Yeah, If you consider drowning in your own sweat while your blood boils okay.”

“Dean, we can’t stop doing this. We won’t stop doing this,” You replied.

“Yeah, you can. You just stop.” he was angry, “There’s no point in trying to bring your brother or boyfriend back now.”

“Oh, I will,” Sam said determinedly.

* * *

**_I held you up like I always do | I forgave you for your sins and I carried you through  
_ **

_“Dean, Dean, look at me.” You took a hold of his face to make him look at you, “You did what you thought was right, okay?”  
_

_“I’m supposed to be saving people, y/n” he paused, “Tonight I did the exact opposite of that. This isn’t even the first time.”_

_“Dean you had no control over this. You did everything you could to save those kids. It’s not your fault they didn’t make it. We can only fight so much and we’re not going to be able to win each time. You can’t always put the blame on yourself, Dean.”  
_

_For the rest of the night, you held Dean comforting him and reminding him of all the good he has done._

* * *

“Sam, what are we going to do? It’s obvious he doesn’t want this. His body is probably just rejecting the blood. What if we never get him back Sam?” You choked out trying to hold in your tears. 

“Y/n, don’t worry. We’ll fix him. I promise even if it’s the last thing I do.” Sam said as he put a hand on your shoulder for comfort, “Look I’m going to go check on him, you stay here. This is stressing you out too much.”

As you were alone waiting for Sam to come back you heard doors opening and closing. Thinking it was Sam you called out to him. When there was no reply you were about to call out again only to have a hand cover your mouth. The person dragged you down the hall and turned you around. When you looked you saw it was Sam and he put a finger up to his mouth motioning to be quiet.

“Dean’s gone. I don’t know how he got out, but I need to lock up the bunker.”

* * *

**_No matter how hard we fall | We always knew  
_ **

_“Y/n, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean anything I said. Please, just open the door.” You heard Dean say through the locked door of the room you ran into after your fight.  
_

_“You always do this to me Dean.” you paused because of your crying, “You never want me hurt, but you’re doing it to me all the time.”_

_“I know, y/n and I’m sorry. I know it’s not enough, but I can’t live without you please open the door for me.”  
_

_It was hard to stay mad at Dean when he was pleading for forgiveness. So you got up and opened the door, although you knew you’d regret it the next time you guys fought._

_Once the door was open Dean wrapped you up in his arms. His grasp was tight and comforting. He kept whispering about how much he loved you and how sorry he was._

* * *

After running from Dean for awhile he caught up to you and Sam. Sam was looking around the corner as you stood beside him looking too. Once Sam turned you saw Dean swing at him, but Sam ducked down so Dean would miss. Sam then put the blade up to Dean’s neck.

“Sam,” you yelled scared of if he would actually do it.

Dean chuckled, “Well, look at you. Do it. It’s all you.”

“Sam, don’t.” you pleaded.

Sam held the blade there for a few before slowly lowering it. You breathed out a sigh of relief, but then Dean’s eyes turned black and he started to go after Sam. Before he could get any farther Castiel popped up and wrapped himself around Dean. 

“It’s over. Dean, it’s over.” Castiel said as Dean struggled and groaned to get out of his grasp.

* * *

**_You will bleed for me, and I will bleed for you_   
**

_“Y/n, hey it’s going to be fine. Look at me. We’re going to get you some help I promise. Don’t close your eyes, you hear me. You’re going to be fine.” Dean rambled on as he held your stomach trying to stop the blood that was pouring out of you.  
_

_“D-Dean, I love you,” You choked out as a small amount of blood started to come up your throat.  
_

_“Hey, listen we’re gonna fix you up. Alright, y/n so you just hang in there. Everything is going to be alright. I promised to protect you and I’m not going to stop now. Cas, if you can hear me I need you.” Dean was crying now. You reached up to wipe some of his tears.  
_

_A few minutes passed and you were scared that you didn’t have much longer. Dean was still holding you as if his own life depended on it. Then Cas popped up finally. He didn’t say anything at all just walked over to where you were laying and healed you._

* * *

As you, Cas, and Sam were talking you heard Dean waking up. You all turned to look at him. Once his eyes opened they were black, but they quickly faded to his green eyes. This was it, you thought, you finally had your Dean back. You all exchanged looks with each other unsure of it was really happening.

Dean finally spoke, “You guys look worried.”

Sam threw some holy water on Dean for extra precautions. Nothing happened, other than Dean looked confused, but nothing happened! It was Dean.

“Welcome back, Dean,” Sam said.

You wouldn’t wait any longer. You ran up to him as fast as you could and wrapped him up in a hug. You started to take Dean out of the cuffs, but you could tell he was realizing what he had done as a Demon.

You held him again and said, “It’s okay. You’re back and I’m here. We can get through this Dean. We always do.”

As you pulled away you kissed him on the cheek and gave him a reassuring look. No matter what it took you’d help him through this because he is your  _gravity_  and you would bleed for him.


End file.
